Amber Heard said she still loves Johnny Depp but fears “every step he takes” presents an opportunity for a new defamation lawsuit.
In the latest installment of her interview with NBC Today, the 36-year-old actress told reporter Savannah Guthrie that she has “no ill feelings or ill will” toward Depp following his high-profile court case.
The interview, the first on television since the case concluded two weeks ago, also saw her fearful voice that she could be “silenced” in the future.
Asked if she was nervous about what she can now say, she said: “Of course. I took for granted what I assumed was my right to speak.”
Guthrie then asked her if she felt she could be sued again for defamation.
Heard responded, “I’m afraid that no matter what I do, no matter what I say or how I say it, every step I take will present another opportunity to silence, which I suppose is what a defamation lawsuit should do. – is meant to take your voice.”
When asked if he still loved Depp, he replied: “Yes, absolutely. I’m lovin ‘it.
“I loved him with all my heart and did my best to make a deeply broken relationship work. And I could not.
“I have no ill feelings or ill will towards him at all. I know it can be difficult to understand.
“Or it could be very easy to understand if you’ve ever loved someone… It should be easy.”
At the six-week trial, Heard was also questioned as to why she had not yet donated her seven million dollar (£5.7m) divorce settlement to charity as promised.
“I made a promise and that promise is made over time by its nature,” she replied.
But Guthrie chimed in: “If you say you donated, you know everyone thinks you donated, not promised.
“And to the jury sitting there, do you think they felt like they caught you in a lie?”
Heard responded: “I don’t know because I feel like a lot of the trial was meant to cast doubt on who I am as a human being, my credibility, calling me a liar in every possible way.
“This is another one of those examples where if you go back and think about it, I shouldn’t have donated it for them to believe me.
“He shouldn’t have had to commit all of that.”
Heard also denied that she or anyone on her team told the celebrity website TMZ when she would attend a Los Angeles courthouse to file a restraining order against Depp.
She said: “I was going to say that it certainly wasn’t reported by me or anyone on my (team). Why would they? No. As I testified before, he had nothing to do with me.”
She also addressed a text message shown as evidence in which Depp appeared to threaten her with “total global humiliation.”
When asked if he had achieved that, Heard said: “I know he promised. I testified to this. I’m not a good victim, I get it. I’m not a sympathetic victim. I am not a perfect victim.
“But when I testified I asked the jury to see me as a human and here, in his own words, which is a promise to do this, it sounds like he did.”
Two weeks ago, the jury found a 2018 article Heard wrote for the Washington Post about her experiences as a survivor of domestic abuse defamatory.
Depp consistently denied during his own statement the “outrageous and outlandish” abuse claims, saying he had “spoken for what I’ve been reluctantly carrying for six years.”
The 59-year-old received US$10.35m (£8.2m) in damages.
Heard won one count of her countersuit, successfully arguing that Depp’s press agent defamed her by claiming her allegations were “a hoax of abuse” intended to capitalize on the #MeToo movement.
The jury awarded him two million dollars (£1.5 million) in damages.
While deliberations were taking place, Depp appeared on stage with veteran rock guitarist Jeff Beck, 77, during his UK tour and the pair also recently announced a collaborative album.
Depp previously lost a similar UK lawsuit against the publisher of The Sun newspaper after an article, also written in 2018, referred to him as a “wife beater”.