A grandmother ended up with massive facial swelling and a concussion after she stood up in the bathroom at a bottomless brunch.
Nat Cooper, 43, even wore flat sandals to lunch at El Campeon de Chapo in Ashton, Makerfield, last Saturday. For his birthday.
But after two ‘big’ vodkas and a can of Lambrini on the bus, Nat and her friend Siobhan arrived at the restaurant and immediately launched into cocktails and bottomless prosecco.
During the two-hour session that cost the couple £35 each, Nat downed countless porn star martinis and shots of prosecco, ultimately leading to a visit to the bathroom where it all went wrong.
After sitting on the toilet with the cubicle door open so they could continue chatting, Nat fell face-first to the floor and hit his eye hard.
Siobhan picked up the poor grandmother of one and thinks she had a concussion because she doesn’t remember the fall or the ride home.
But his face is very swollen as a reminder of the drinking accident.
Petrol station cashier and mother of six, Nat, from St Helen’s, Merseyside, said: “Seeing my eye the next day I was shocked. I was frantic, what did I do? Please tell me I haven’t been fighting – I’m a lullaby!
“I’ve only been to a bottomless brunch before, in Wigan, and was sick in the restaurant before we left.
“This was my birthday with my best friend, so I was excited and thought I was really letting my hair down.
“Just got back from vacation so I thought I could handle the cocktails, but they’re clearly not appropriate spirits at an all-inclusive resort and these hit differently.
“Obviously we had drunk before – two great big vodkas because Siobhan pours them like a pro.
“I also bought a drink on the bus: a can of Lambrini, because Lambrini girls like to have fun, don’t they?
“We got to the cocktail place and I started kissing the cocktails.
“I was drinking Porn Star Martinis, but you also get a glass of prosecco that keeps filling, so you have two shots at a time and both of my hands were full. I was like a pig in shit.
“I ate something that was delicious, I think, because I remember a little bit, and then the shit hits the fan.
“I don’t even remember going to the bathroom, but apparently I went and, like the classy bird that I am, I sat on the bathroom, but I left the door open talking to Siobhan and then I slumped forward.
“If I had closed the door, I would have just hit the door, but I hit the ground.
“I don’t remember leaving the place or getting home. I think I had a concussion because I wanted to sleep and didn’t know I fell.
“We went out to wait for the bus and I was on the ground at the bus stop when a very nice stranger stopped and asked to take us home.
“Instead we asked to be dropped off at our local bar. I didn’t drink and still didn’t know I fell but apparently wouldn’t let anyone call an ambulance and the waitress gave me ice for my eye.”
“Eventually, Siobhan and her mother practically took me home and put me to bed.
“It was like Dory from ‘Finding Nemo’: I would forget that I had fallen and ask who had hit me.
“The restaurant itself was second to none, a beautiful venue and lovely staff. I hope they’ll let me come back, it wasn’t their fault, it was my fault, I shouldn’t have been drinking sooner!
“I don’t think bottomless lunches are for me!”